nothing

I was sitting down to write something tonight when I realized that I didn't really have anything to say...so why waste my time and yours.

Guess what...life is good, God is good...so good night.

release

I caught a fish in a friend's pond last summer and held the huge, ginormous bass up for everyone to see. The hook got stuck in its mouth and we had to work pretty hard to get it out without damaging the poor little thing. We finally got the hook out and I set the fish down in the water...it just kind of floated there...it didn't move. Now, I'm not an angler, so I was thinking I killed the little guy and I got a bit worried. My friend, on the other hand said to wait and he moved it back and forth a few times and, several seconds later, it swam away. That fish had been free to swim its whole life, and had done so since day one but after it had been caught it didn't realize that it had been freed up to go be what it was made to be. Even when it had been placed back into the water it just sat there. It didn't move and go free until it had been put back into it's environment where it was meant to thrive but also after it had been encouraged to begin breathing again and coaxed toward its freedom.

Its been a long couple of years for me personally. I remember back when I was growing up that a lot of people put their confidence in me and encouraged me to be all that God had created me to be. When they saw things that I needed to work on they encouraged me to move in the right direction. When they saw that I had dreams and that I felt that God had placed in my gut to be something they were my biggest fans. I'm sure that they didn't know whether I would succeed or fail, but they believed that if they got behind me that they would see great things. They believed in releasing me to reach my dreams.

It had been a while since I had heard voices like that around me. It seemed as though the things that I believed that I should pursue were immediately knocked to the side as foolish or out of reach. The people who seemed wise seemed to try to conform me to their image of what I should be and had decided that the Dave I was pursuing wasn't the right dave. It wasn't that they had solid reasons, it was just that they "felt" I was moving in a direction that wasn't the way that they saw as the best. Don't get me wrong...I had close friends who did encourage me...but the loudest, closest voices soon had me confused about what path that I should really be on.

Recently I was invited to do some worship leading, speaking and teaching for some people who have been just amazing to me and my family. I had spoken for them before but in light of some details that I won't divulge I believed that they would be completely justified to not invite me again...they did anyway.

when they would have been justified and right to treat me fairly, they chose to rise above and release me to pursue my dreams.

They have truly been like Jesus, I believe. The encouragement that I received from them and the people who they surround themselves with was and continues to be amazing. I felt, for the first time in a long time, like someone was reaching down into the water and coaxing me back to the place where I belong. Someone was, again, releasing me to live my dreams and heart's desire. The feeling was amazing and I have been overwhelmed by the joy that my heart has felt because of the things that they have said and done to confirm in me what I have had squashed inside.

As a good friend once said, they have been "dream releasers and not dream crushers"...I want to be a dream releaser for someone...I want to be that person who listens intently and hears what others are dreaming to do. I want to hear those things and lift them up and give them the support that they need to fulfill those dreams. I want to be like Jesus who died, gave up himself, in order that people would be able to be free to live out the plans that God made them for in the places where he put them. I want to be like that, just as my friends have been that to me.

Listen

he told me his name, said it clearly and didn't mumble. I repeated it to him and told him my name. I asked him what his position was and how long he'd worked there...I don't remember a word he said. Not a bit. I can see his face in my head but I cannot for the life of me remember his name.

who does that? who asks someone a question and then doesn't listen to the answer? who meets someone and then doesn't remember their name?

I just spoke with a close friend about this very issue about a week ago. He told me that he always had trouble with people's names and I had told him that since my job change of meeting new people for the American Red Cross that I had gotten better. I said "just make sure that when you ask someone's name that you listen intently to hear what they say. the reason that we don't remember is because we don't listen very well. We're too concerned with what we have to say next."

Well, great advice. (If I do say so myself) Too bad that I didn't follow a word of it today. My biggest problem is that I am so impressed with what I've got to say that I don't really listen to others. I often think about intimate things I might know about others, what insight I might be able to gain in relationships, what kind of lover or friend that I could be if I would actually stop and listen.

Next time I see the guy I met today he'll remember my name and I'll have to call him "buddy," or "dude," or "man" or I'll have to embarrass myself and ask his name again...

Then, the next time I meet someone, I should probably just listen...why is that so much harder than it sounds?

to begin

i woke up this morning to my son's inarticulate mumblings coming through the monitor beside my warm bed and immediately knew something was up...he never wakes up until around 8 and it was only 6. upon bringing him something to drink and lying down beside him i realized that his forehead was burning up and that my wife or i would have to stay home and care for the kids today. she's a wonderful mom and really wanted to stay home with him for the day, so she called off today and is home with him. 2 hours later they cancelled her mobile today and she wouldn't have had to work anyway, but since she called in, she has to use her PTO instead of getting cancellation pay.

strange things happen sometimes. it always happens on days like today, and we don't get to know why. that just doesn't seem fair.

found myself saying these things to myself today, and then was snapped back to reality as i heard reports of people losing their jobs around the country and people who are scrambling to make ends meet in this economy. missing out on a day of cancellation pay seems pretty tiny, although it seemed large earlier today.

we need perspective. living in a world that is broken should make me vitally aware that as a follower of jesus i may have an impact for good in all of this but i have to keep my eyes open to it. it's hard to keep the eyes open to the things that i should be seeing and doing when my focus is caught on what has affected my little world today.

i'm going to try to look at the bigger picture and see my own as a bit smaller.